The Song Wars
by dip-the-snowfish
Summary: GSR, a bit of YoBling. Isn't it amazing how you can tell exactly what a person is thinking, just by a song?
1. The War Begins

Disclaimer: (sob) we don't own anything, except the computer this story was written on

**A/N** I am co-authoring this story with one of my bestest buddies. Her name is Jenny and she hasa user on this site too (shopping-luva91), and half the credit for this story goes to her! This is the first time w've written a story together, so let us know what you think!

P.S. There are a number of songs in this chapter (2 in fact) and there will be many more in later chapters.The two in this chapare both credited at the end.

* * *

Nick shifted in his seat, the rhythms of the music drumming through his head. God, he loved country music. The song finished and a new one came on. The music first, and then the lyrics started. 

_She take my money, when I'm in need  
Yeah she's a triflin friend indeed  
Oh she's a gold digger way over town  
That digs on me _

"Ugh!" His face scrunched up at the noise, and he switched the station. When he heard talking, he automatically went to switch it again, but he hesitated suddenly as he recognised the voice of the man speaking.

"Hi, my name is Gil Grissom and I'd like to dedicate this song to Sara"

Nick's jaw dropped as he recognised the first few bars of music.

* * *

She was in the mood. He wasn't. He needed an excuse, any excuse to get away. 

"Tina honey, why don't I put on the radio?" She smiled at him from their bed and nodded. He turned and walked over to the stereo system. He turned and walked back towards his wife as the radio booted up.

"Hi, my name is Gil Grissom and I'd like to dedicate this song to Sara"

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning to stare with disbelief at the stereo. He recognised the song instantly, Lindsey loved this one, and tried to mask the look of dread on his face as he turned back to his wife.

* * *

"Hi, my name is Gil Grissom and I'd like to dedicate this song to Sara" 

Catherine smirked. "Finally!" she muttered under her breath. He'd finally pulled his head out of the microscope long enough to do something about this crazy infatuation with Sara. Her mood turned upside down, however, as she heard his choice of song. Lindsey ran into the kitchen.

"I love this song!"

* * *

"Hi, my name is Gil Grissom and I'd like to dedicate this song to Sara" 

He paused, putting down the DNA equipment in order to listen to his boss on the radio. "Shit!" He hadn't thought the man would take him seriously! No-one else around here did! He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "It's okay, maybe he chose another song! Yes, that's it, another song.." he told himself, trying not to panic. His head dropped to his hands, a grimace on his face as he heard the music start up. He heard laughter around the lab, and groaned.

* * *

She slammed the door shut and set the timer on the microwave, letting the machine warm up her dinner. She walked towards her bedroom, turning on the radio as she went. 

"Hi, my name is Gil Grissom and I'd like to dedicate this song to Sara"

She wasn't really listening, at least, until she heard her name. She stopped and looked up. Probably a coincidence. Then she recognised his voice. _"Grissom?" _She shook her head. No way. No frikkin way. She walked back into her living room, curious to see what the song would be. She really had no idea. She raised her eyebrows as the music started, and then the full implictaions hit her. Her jaw dropped as she listened to the lyrics.

_You got me horny in the morning and you kno-o-ow  
I try to call you but I can't find the telephone  
I sent a message through the Internet but it rejected  
I wrote a letter and I sent it with the po-o-ost _

The post it takes so long, so I've got to sing this song  
To let you know how I feel, whats the deal baby  
And I can't wait for you, and the things you make me do  
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

I'm horny  
Horny, horny, horny  
So horny  
I'm horny, horny, horny  
I'm horny  
Horny, horny, horny  
So horny  
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

Grissom was SO dead!

* * *

**A/N **The two songs in this chapter are Golddigger (by Kanye West) and Horny as a Dandy (by the Dandy Warhols) Neither of us particularly like Golddigger, but Horny as a Dandy is fanfastic! You shouldall listen to it! 


	2. Humiliation

Sorry we took so long to update - my computer is seriously screwed. Read and Review! and thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chap!

* * *

Sara pulled into the carpark and turned her car off. She sighed and hoped that no-one else from the lab had heard the broadcast from the day before. She opened her door and stepped out. Walking up to the doors of the lab, she took a deep breath and stepped in, preparing herself for the utter humiliation that would follow.

She went into the locker room, grateful that it was empty. Her journey there had been fairly uneventful, except for the occasional snigger behind her back.

"Hey Sara!" Nick greeted cheerfully. He smirked as he turned away, humming the tune of the song from the day before. She smacked the back of his head.

"Shut up Stokes!" she said angrily, but fighting the urge to smile. Nick laughed.

"Oh come on Sar, you have to admit it was funny" Nick said. She walked towards the door, paused and turned back to face Nick.

"Yeah well we'll wait and see what Grissom says about that tomorrow"

Nick's brow furrowed in confusion. He looked up to ask her what she meant, but she was gone.

* * *

"Yo, Sara!" called a voice from the breakroom. She paused, and took a deep breath.

'_Count to ten, count to ten, count to ten…'_ She opened her eyes and plastered a smile on her face. She was at the end of her rope. She couldn't take this much longer. The sniggers had been following her around the lab all day. Had anyone NOT heard the broadcast? Granted, it had been amusing at first, but now she wished everyone would just back off and leave her alone. Oh well. She'd have her revenge tonight. She struggled to wipe the smirk off of her face as she entered the breakroom. "Hi Rick. Catherine." She said cheerfully, nodding a hello to the older woman. _'Maybe they won't mention the broadcast. Oh they had so better not!'_ She walked over to the coffee pot, pouring herself a much needed cup. Greg had just restocked on the good stuff, so everyone was enjoying it while it lasted. "So did you hear…" She groaned, and walked out. He never even finished the sentence.

* * *

She sat in the layout room, her back to the door. Then he came in. She didn't even have to turn around. There was just something about him that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Results just came in on that hair you sent to DNA" Grissom stated, placing the file on the table next to her. He stood for a minute, as if waiting for her to answer. She didn't, so he walked away, disappointed.

'_Ugh, you are SO gonna pay for humiliating me all day!'_ she thought as he left.

Grissom walked out, feeling utterly humiliated. "GREG!" he stormed into the DNA lab, looking around for the tech.

"I'm sorry!" came the muffled plea from under the desk furthest from the door. Grissom raised an eyebrow upon realising that the man was holding up a stirring rod in the hopes it would protect him. He had an instant desire to laugh, but managed to keep the scowl on his face nonetheless.

"You have some explaining to do!"

"I didn't think you'd take me seriously!"

Grissom sighed, and gave the younger man… who was now holding up a test tube in defence… one last smouldering look before turning and leaving the DNA lab.

He sighed. It had been a long shift. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, walking into his office. He looked around, smiling. He loved his office. It was perfect. Well… it lacked one thing… in the form of a tall, leggy brunette… He slapped his head. "Don't think like that!" he told himself out loud. Anyway, other than that small annoyance, his office was perfect. The rows of jars containing everything from a butterfly to a foetal pig on the shelves kept unwanted visitors out, ensuring it was always quiet. It was filled with all his books, and he found it was the one place in the lab where he could relax and just think. His eyes scanned the familiar space, and he sighed again, but this time a contented sigh. He walked to his desk, and was about to sit down when he noticed a small piece of paper taped to the side of his terrarium. He walked over and pulled the note off the glass.

"_You just wait!"_ was all it said. There was no name, but he didn't need one. He recognised her handwriting. Eyes wide, he turned to face the radio on the corner of his desk.


	3. Retaliation

Hey guys, so here's the new chap. Sorry it took so long! Bla bla bla, we don't own CSI, u guys know the drill!

Oh, and P.S, there is a song in this chap (surprise surprise) and itIS credited at the end, dont worry. Lol. We love you all!

* * *

"_Ding Dong"_

"Shit" he was still in his towel. Quickly Greg shoved on the boxers (Winnie the Pooh – what else?) and jeans that were on the floor at the end of his bed. He yelled at the door, "I'll be there in a minute!" He wouldn't worry about a shirt – it was probably just Warrick or Nick. He ran down the main hall of his apartment, pushing the power button on his stereo as he went. He opened the door quickly, smiling. "Hey guys!" His face fell. He screamed.

"You scream like a girl Uncle Greg" Lindsey said. Greg jumped behind the door, closing it most of the way, shielding his bare chest from a blushing Catherine and her grinning daughter. He quickly regained control of his breathing and smiled back at the girl.

"Why thankyou Miss Lindsey, and welcome to chez Greg!" He looked up at Catherine, who was still blushing, but not as much now. "Hey Cath! If you'll just excuse me for a second, I will be right back!" She nodded, and he quickly closed the door, skidding back down the hall into his bedroom, and grabbing his favourite Hawaiian shirt from his closet. (The pink and orange one – what else?) He ran back to the door…again… and flung it open, finding not two people on the doorstep, but four. "Oh, hi Nick. Rick." He acknowledged his friends. He moved to stand next to the door, and bent into a mock bow. "Won't you come in?" he asked. Lindsey giggled at his lame attempt at an English accent.

"Sure man, it's getting cold out here!" Warrick replied, grinning. They all walked in, heading for the living room.

* * *

"So Greggo…" Nick started. Greg looked up from his spot on the couch, next to Warrick.

"Yeah?"

"Well… we heard from a certain reliable source that you answered the door previously in… interesting attire." Greg glared menacingly at Catherine, who held up her hands defensively.

"Hey, not me!" Greg turned, in mock horror, to look at Lindsey. She giggled.

"I'm sorry Uncle Greg. I couldn't help myself!" Nick laughed. Loudly.

"Yeah and we also heard that you have an equally interesting scream." Nick mocked. With this, Greg leapt out of his chair and started chasing Lindsey around the room. She laughed in delight at the unexpected game. Greg was laughing too, and this somewhat affected his ability to judge distance, consequently he ran into many pieces of furniture whilst trying to catch the girl. Eventually he caught her, and threw her down on the couch (gently of course) and began tickling her furiously. She shrieked.

"Argh! Uncle Greg! Stop, that tickles!" He paused momentarily

"That, Ms. Lindsey, is the point" he replied with a smirk, leaning down to tickle her again.

* * *

"So do you reckon she'll reply?" Catherine asked.

"I dunno. That would be so like her. Straightforward, that's Sara." Warrick answered.

"Well, if she does dedicate him a song, it'll be very interesting to hear her song choice. No doubt it will convey a VERY strong and straightforward message to him. Actually, do you reckon he's listening?" Greg asked. Nick looked thoughtful.

"Well, I don't know about Grissom listening, but I'm pretty sure Sara'll do the song dedication. She said something interesting to me today." He mused.

"And that was…?" prompted Lindsey. Warrick looked up at the unexpected contribution by the girl.

"_WOW! She really is beginning to sound like Catherine!"_ He thought. His thoughts were, however, interrupted by Nick's reply.

"Oh, I don't remember exactly, but it was something about how we'd see what Grissom had to say about his little song dedication tomorrow. SOMETHING is up, and this seems like a good bet to me!" He explained.

"I agree" said Greg. "I think that it would be so unlike her to let him get away with this. She's got something up her sleeve. So, I invited you guys over. I figured, what's the fun of mulling over this and listening to the radio in hopes of something by myself? The more the merrier!" Everyone laughed.

"True" agreed Warrick. He looked like he was going to say more, but then he stopped, distracted by what was happening on the radio.

"I'm sure most of you will remember the interesting song dedication we had on the show yesterday." The radio host said. "Well, we have a reply caller to it! Hello, Sara?"

"Yeah, hi! Before I get on with the dedication, I'd just like to say, Hi guys! Cath, Greg, Warrick, Nicky, Lindsey, I KNOW you're listening! I'll see you guys later! Anyway, this song is dedicated to Grissom, so you'd better be listening Griss!" With that, she hung up, leaving the host to play the song. When the music started, there was a collective laugh of delight from all around Greg's living room.

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the...  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking your...  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your... _

I don't give a...  
Keep looking at my...  
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Every boy's the same  
Since up in the seventh grade  
They been trying to get with me  
Trying to Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha-ha  
They always got a plan  
To be my one and only man  
Want to hold me with their hands  
Want to Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha-ha  
I keep turning them down  
But, they always come around  
Asking me to go around  
That's not the way it's going down

'Cause they only want  
Only want my ha, ha-ha  
Ha, ha-ha  
Only want what they want  
But, na, ah-ah  
Na, ah-ah

It's funny how a man only thinks about the...  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...

I don't give a...  
Keep looking at my...  
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Do you know that no  
Don't mean yes, it means no  
So just hold up, wait a minute  
Let me put my two cents in it  
One, just be patient  
Don't be rushing  
Like you're anxious  
And two, your just too aggresive  
Trying to get your Ahh

Do you know that I know?  
And I don't want to go there

They Only want  
Only want my ha, ha-ha  
Ha, ha-ha  
Only want what they want  
But, na, ah-ah  
Na, ah-ah

It's funny how a man only thinks about the...  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...

I don't give a...  
Keep looking at my...  
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...HAH  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Boomp-boomp, Boomp-boomp  
Boomp, boomp-boomp  
Boomp-boomp, Bomp,Boomp, boomp-boomp  
Repeated

Ooh, you've got it bad I can tell  
You want it bad, but oh well  
Dude, what you got for me  
Is something I  
Something I don't need  
Heeeeeeyyy!

It's funny how a man only thinks about the...  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...

I don't give a...  
Keep looking at my...  
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

It's funny how a man only thinks about the...  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...

I don't give a...  
Keep looking at my...  
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

"Well she certainly made a point…" Gregmanaged breathlesslyafter the song finished, causing the room to erupt with laughter once again.

* * *

Grissom sat clutching his desk, his knuckles white from clutching it so hard.

"_Count to ten, count to ten, count to ten"_ he told himself. He calmly switched off the radio, unplugged it at the wall, and then promptly threw the thing across the room, hearing a satisfying thump as it hit the opposite wall. She stood up and slammed his hand on the desk. "Dammit Sara!" He yelled at the ceiling. He quickly grabbed his jacket and keys, and headed out of the office. He needed to think.

* * *

**A/N -** Okay, so there was (obviously) a song in this chap. We didn't write it, we take no credit for it. It was "Beep" by the Pussycat dolls featuring Will.I.Am (From the Black Eyed Peas) So anyway, that's the chap, sorr it tok so long, we'll try to get the next chap to you sooner. Holidays now, so it shouldn't be a problem! Review, and we'll write even faster! 


End file.
